A reflection on writing

I love writing. I love words. I love being able to express myself through poetry and letters and novels. Writing just seems easier for me rather than having a conversation with someone.

But in the past year I haven’t written as much as I have in years past… and it makes me sad. It could be between the hubbub of school and life that keeps me from writing… or it could be because of the fact that I haven’t had to inspiration to write. Trust me, I have lots of opinions on just about everything but no inspiration to turn my thoughts in words.

Just typing this blog post feels amazing, being able to write and have my fingers press down on the keyboard. I miss that.

Now, don’t get me wrong I have tried to write. I’ll sit down at my desk with some jazzy music playing, my head filled with all these thoughts that I want to be able to express. I’ll open up a word document or a blog post page. I’ll type a sentence and then maybe another sentence… then I’ll stop. Then I delete the fifteen words I have on the page.

This goes on for about an hour before I finally give up and scroll through blogs I follow or thumb through novels looking for inspiration.

“Writers need to read in order to write.” That’s been said over and over and over. While it is true, it’s also not true. I read — avidly. I read news articles, novels, comic books, blog posts, literally anything. But then why do I this writer’s block?

I’ll tell you that it’s irritating because I love expressing myself through writing.

Maybe I just need to try harder with writing. But then doesn’t that defeat the purpose? Writing shouldn’t be forceful or a chore. It should be a fun expression of self, right?

Fake much?

Between Twitter, Facebook, and even Snapchat, news is being shared, liked, and posted everywhere at anytime.

However, not all of the news that you read to actual news that is happening in the world. Some people call this news “alternative facts” (how stupid does that sound?) or “fake news”. Being a student who is in journalism in high school and wants to actually pursue journalism as a career, this hurts me.

The fact that people circulate fake news daily just so that they can make money makes me sick. These people are hurting the world’s view on journalists and the news that they report.

To help counter all of the fake news and “alternative facts” (I still can’t get over how stupid that sounds and the fact that people buy it…) just use a little common sense and look into the author of the article or look at the sources. This article from fastcheck.org is really helpful in spotting fake news.

I cannot believe that people would ruin the journalistic image people they want to perpetuate false views or try to sway people one way or another.

I know that even journalists themselves have not been 100% honest in reporting. I’m not trying to put all journalists on a pedestal, but what about the honest ones? Or the student journalists that actually have a love and passion for reporting news?

All I’m saying is that people should think twice before they start reporting “alternative facts” (…) and ruining the journalistic image.

Feelings

I don’t know about you, but I’m not that best at handling emotions… or having emotions… or well really anything emotion-related.

Don’t get me wrong, I do get happy and sad, I’m not a robot, but well… emotions scare me. I either get too happy or too sad or fall too much in love and then I get scared of emotions so I try to turn them off and run away.

I don’t really know how to handle my emotions “like a normal person”. More often than not, on the outside I look like I’m always angry (apparently, I have RBF, but that’s another story for another time). But, honestly, just because I’m not outwardly showing that I’m happy doesn’t mean that I’m not happy.

When I am happy, and I outwardly show that I’m happy, I’m bouncing off the walls and jumping around and squealing like a five year-old who just got a barbie for their birthday. But, then that takes up a lot of energy so instead I just sit and give a small smile and people perceive that I’m angry, upset, sad, or anything that’s not happy.
I don’t think that it’s the fact that it’s difficult for me to express emotions “like a normal person,” but more of that I’m scare to… and it’s totally all in my head, I get that, but I am scared of emotions, so around large groups of people, like school or debate practice, I don’t always smile. I just have a ‘normal face’ (which apparently looks like I’m about to cry…) and people think I’m always sad or angry.

So, just because I’m not outwardly showing emotions, doesn’t mean I don’t feel them. I do… and I think that sometimes some of the people I’m around forget that.

An introverts thoughts

I am my best friend.

I thrive off of being alone. I’m comfortable doing things by myself, like getting a cup of coffee or going for a walk through the park.

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve always been ok with doing things by myself… I’ve even preferred it. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have any friends, on the contrary, I have a nice group of friends and I do like socializing at times.

But being in a large group of people and having to constantly socialize drains my energy. I thrive off of solitude. I need time by myself to unwind and then rewind so that I can go socialize.

Sometimes, well most of the time, I’m perceived as angry or sad by others, when in reality I just haven”t had enough time to recharge from over stimulation. When people talk to me at these times, which I wish was less times than it really is, I’m very rigid or snappy or annoyed towards them because I haven’t had time to process the day of being around so many people or in loud, over stimulating environments. I’m much more of a different person when I’m with a small, close group of friends than I am, say, in class or at debate practice.

I’m still trying to find that right balance between being by myself and being able to socialize, and still trying to find that confidence I feel with my friends in large crowds of people.

Thoughts on the election

I know that the election is almost over, as tomorrow is November 8 and this will likely be posted after Election Day, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on it so far.

Firstly, I just want to say that I am a Democrat and if you have and issue with the post, then please don’t read it.

With that being said, let’s get into things.

I first want to talk about the fact of how this election seems like a nightmare and at some point we all will wake up and get back to our normal lives. Sadly, this is not the case. 

If people are this afraid of the candidates, then why did we let this election spiral out of control the way it did? We knew who the (most of) the candidates were before this election cycle (and yes, I’m talking about Trump here…). If we were so fearful of let’s say Hilary and Trump, because those are our only options left, then why did they receive the most votes in the Primary Election (I believe that’s what it’s called, but I’m not entirely sure)? 

Secondly, I want to talk a bit more directly about the candidates, Clinton and Trump.

While I am a Democrate, I don’t fully believe in everything that Hilary has done, namely the emails (since that’s something that’s a very popular thing the talk about). However, I’m much more afraid of what Trump would do in office than I am of Hilary. (But that’s not the sole reason why I’m a Democrat).

Trump is a lot worse in my opinion. First off, he has no respect for women and has repeatedly, on air might I add, has said crude things about and toward women. Let’s take the Miss Universe thing for example. In a early morning session, Trump completely slandered the women for her ethnicity and weight. Trump has also said that he would have sex with his daughter if she wasn’t his daughter. Is that the type of person you want in the White House? Is that the type of person you want running our country? 

Just know that who ever wins this election will severely impact the way that future generations will grow up and also how the world perceives our nation.

The annoying thing about practice

I do Public Forum in Speech and Debate, and I really love doing debate but going to practice annoys me.

Practices are roughly three hours long, with about a ten minute meeting before then a 30 minute W.I.P. (work in progress) at the end.

However, in the hour and a half that suppose to be the time that PF writes cases and doing practice debates, most of the PF-ers are busy rapping or talking about things that are clearly not about debate. But, this is time that I need help writing cases or doing research or writing blocks because I’m new and I still don’t know what I’m doing.

I’m lucky if I read half of a research paper that’s 5 pages long about the debate topic in that hour and a half or write two sentences on my contention.

So, instead of working on things during practice, I have a squeeze in time on the weekend to write cases with my debate partner. That is time that I literally do not have. I have other things that I need to get done and I don’t have time to go to a coffee shop for four or five hours trying to write a case. On top of that, people get upset when cases aren’t written. 

Anyways, I’m just annoyed because nothing really gets done at debate practices.