Lately I’ve been thinking about the not so distance future… and how a large majority of my friends will be graduating at the end of this school year.
And if it’s anything like last year, which I have a small fear that it might be, I will never speak to a majority of these people… and that kind of scares me.
I’m really happy that my friends are at this point in their life, they’ve worked so hard to be here and they deserve to be done with high school. They deserve to move on, as such is life.
Moving on will happen whether I like it or not… and no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I’m not bothered by the fact that I won’t see these people everyday, I am bothered by it. Every time a senior friend of mine talks about graduation or college or anything in the future I get sad… then I feel guilty for feeling sad.
Since I feel guilty for feeling sad I’ve never voiced this to anyone except maybe Kris, but now trying to recall conversations of this with her that’s not even coming up.
So, where will I be when you are no longer around?
Will I be moved on from the majority of my senior friends having graduated? Will I still be sad and feeling guilty? Will I be in this weird state of limbo?
I guess only moving on will tell… but then moving on means finding out and I tend to run from my problems, whether that be emotions, confrontation, or anything else.