Can’t we be friends?

(Warning: This is kind of an angry rant, so read at your own risk. I also wrote this a while ago, but decided to post it now regardless…)

Break ups suck, especially when you’re the person being dumped. And even when the person dumping you says ‘You did nothing wrong’ ‘It wasn’t your fault’ you still can’t help but think ‘What the hell did I do? If I did this differently would we still be together?’

Nothing hurts worse than when the person that you really, really like suggests that you should just be friends. (A bullet wound might hurt about equally.)

I do think that some people might not work in a romantic relationship and might work better as friends, but that means that the two people have to make an effort to be friends. If you completely ignore and avoid the person that you broke up with but still want to be friends with, then is that friendship?

You can’t just say ‘I think we work better as friends,’ ‘I still want to be friends with you,’ and ignore the person… because that person still holds out hope that you will still be in their life.

I know I would rather be friends with this person than not have them in my life at all. They are still a good person. I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not mad, I am, but what makes me (a little bit) mad is that they gave me hope that I would still have them in my life without them ignoring me, making me feel even worse about the situation and making me feel it’s my fault (which I know it’s not); or whenever we are less than 2 yards apart, having it be awkward, which no surprise, makes me feel like it’s my fault.


One thought on “Can’t we be friends?

  1. Interesting rant. When a woman tells a man that we should just be friends she is essentially saying, “Kiss Off!”. Since I’m a man and I’ve never been in the situation where I tell a woman we should be friends (assuming we have been lovers) then I have little reference as to your problem. But one thing I do know is that sex complicates any relationship and one can not go back to that previous state where such intimacy was not shared. Do I have an answer for your? Not really. Maybe you can go back to a previous state in the relationship but I doubt it will ever be the same.


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